Is this too much information?

There’s nothing like motherhood to make you talk about poop.

Seriously, before you become a mom, do you ever really even think about poop, let alone talk about it in “mixed company”? Motherhood changes all that. You wind up saying things like “Are you poopie?’ and “Do you need to poop?” without a hint of self-consciousness.

So why am I talking about poop today? Well, I have one child who can’t poop, and one who can’t keep her poop in her pants.

A little background: I knew Emilia was sick, so I took off work on Monday to take her to the doctor. Ella woke up Monday morning saying she didn’t feel well. Because she wasn’t running a fever and seemed pretty chipper, I assumed she was faking and almost sent her to school. But since I was already taking Emilia in, I made an appointment for Ella, too.

The verdict? Emilia has, to quote the nurse practitioner, a “blazing” ear infection, and Ella has a distended bowel, which is causing a “rip-roaring” bladder infection. Six prescriptions and one OTC later, we now have a chart to keep track of who takes what when. (How do those people with 12 children manage—I only have two and can barely keep things straight.) And boy, do I feel guilty for thinking Ella was faking it.

Emilia’s antibiotic has resulted in three diaper explosions so far today. And the treatments for Ella’s bowel problem are not exactly pleasant, especially for an overly dramatic and sensitive six year old. (And apparently, if you were at the grade school early enough this morning, you got to hear all of the lovely details from Ella herself.) So on top of two physician copays and $90 at the pharmacy, it also cost me $25 in iTunes downloads to ensure Ella’s cooperation. (No, I am not above bribing my daughter.)

The good news is that they both seem to be feeling better today. The bad news? I have a feeling we’ll be dealing with poop for quite a while longer.